Hannibal Missouri – Mark Twain Cave

As I drove Northeast from Columbia, the weather slowly changed into a classic fall day – breezy and cool with bright blue skies. I had called ahead to book a reservation at Mark Twain Cave RV Park, an interesting place in that it is a private operation that operates both a campground and tours of the cave located on their property.

It was nearing the close of their season so they were only at about 25% of capacity, which suited me just fine. I was given a fine site at the back of the park.  The sites here sport full hookup with one quirk: the sewer connections are near the front of the sites, far forward of everything else. My fifteen foot “stinky slinky” wouldn’t reach, so I had to pull forward and dump at departure. No biggie, but I did put a ten foot extension hose on my list for items to acquire for next year.

The fall colors were waning but still pretty. It was nice to make it out of the grasslands in time to catch a bit of autumn where there were hardwoods to put on a show. One of the reasons I came to Hannibal was to meet up with my old pal Martin, a.k.a. KD_Magnus from my old online sportscasting days at MWL Radio. Martin works at the General Mills plant here in the small town where he spent his childhood. Hannibal is where General Mills makes all those blue cans of Progresso Soup you see in the grocery store.

Loose Meat

I like to check out local specialty cuisine during my travels: salmon in the Pacific Northwest, beef in Kansas, bay scallops in Florida. And in Hannibal? Martin took me to the local legend joint, the Mark Twain Dinette. We had the specialty of the house: Maid-Rite  sandwiches and the Foot of Onion Rings along with “home made” root beer.

If you’ve never spent time in the Midwest, you’ve probably never heard of Maid -Rite. It’s the brand name for a particular loose meat sandwich franchise. What’s a loose meat sandwich you ask?  Think Sloppy Joe, hold the sauce, or perhaps a hamburger for toothless ulcer patients. The recipe is simple: finely ground beef, steamed until well done and crumbly. Barely season with salt and pepper and serve on a white bread bun. The more difficult question to answer is why would you make such a thing?

The meat is nearly flavorless with the consistency of birdseed that was left out in the rain. Somehow it manages a mouth feel that is dry and soggy at the same time. When you pick up the sandwich to take a bite,  a good portion of the meat dribbles out into your lap since there is nothing to hold the tiny particles together. Hence the evolution of the Loose Meat Hunch, where you eat the thing hovering over the basket it is served in to catch the fallout. Don’t worry though, your server will bring you a spoon to collect the half cup of meat marbles that make a break for it.

Maid-Rite isn’t unique to Hannibal; you can find stores across middle America. There used to be one in Springfield, Illinois when I lived there, which is where I had last sampled one. The memory of that sandwich aligned with the Hannibal version – edible, but of all the ways to make a meal out of ground beef, Loose Meat is probably the least satisfying.

The onion rings were made fresh, not frozen, and the root beer was tasty if a little flat. Martin said they used to serve it in frosted mugs like I remembered from Springfield, but that tradition had been retired in favor of plastic pitchers more convenient to the servers.

All this may sound like I was disappointed with my visit to the Dinette. Not so!  I appreciated my friend reintroducing me to this regional favorite. If you’ve never had a Maid-Rite, you should try one if you get the chance. But if you’re like me, you’ll probably find one will hold you for thirty years or so.

Mark Twain Cave

Years ago as a kid I had done the Mark Twain museum, whitewashed the fence and the other tourist attractions in the historic river town of Hannibal, but I’d never made it to the caves where young Sam Clemens explored as a child. Since the entrance to the cave was only a hundred yards from my campsite, I took the tour before I left.

Fortunately I arrived between a couple larger groups, so I was given a personalized tour for one. My guide had lived in Hannibal for sixty years, and knew all there was to know about not only the cave being the literary inspiration for the tale of Tom Sawyer vs Injun Joe, but also the real life history of the cave, its geology and the business aspects of operating it as a tourist attraction.

She pointed out the graffiti left behind by Jesse James when he hid out in the cave, as well as the spot underground where she was married back in the eighties. Apparently the cave is deeded to a single family that has owned the property where it is located since shortly after Twain’s demise. When the last descendant dies ownership reverts to the government.

Since the cave is privately owned, it operates under different rules than similar places designated as State or Federal parks. In fact, Mark Twain Cave claims to be the oldest show cave in Missouri and the evidence of a hundred years of tourists exploring the cave is interesting in itself. Check it out if you’re in the area. Like the out-of-focus post cards they sell in gift shop, it’s a little quirky, but that only adds to its appeal.

Next time: End of the Trail – 2018 Tour Wrap Up